If you did not get it the first time, children love routines. They love it because it gives them a sense of security and predictability. They feel safe when things happen in a regular sequence and when they are able to do those things independently.
Both my children have their own routines. They have their day routines.
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| Meal Routine |
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| Playtime Routine |
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| Nap Routine |
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| Outdoor Play Routine |
And they have evening routines.
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| Reading Routine |
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| Homework Routine |
1. Routines form habits
Routines are good for my children because they will eventually form habits. If you have a routine of brushing teeth everyday, they will acquire the habit of brushing teeth. If you have the routine of regular meal times everyday, they will form the habit of timely meals. If you have a routine of reading everyday, they will form the habit of reading.
At this point, I must tell you something. To make routines effective, you must explain to your children why certain things need to be done. Children are very simple and will almost accept your explanations if you explain clearly to them. For example, I showed Zenith a cartoon about decayed teeth and explained to him why brushing teeth is important. To create an effective reading routine for Zenith, I read to him interestingly with role play and stuff. I ask questions about the story/character and guide him in asking questions. This will make him look forward to reading time everyday.
2. Routines make your child feel independent
Once the routine is in place, your child will feel independent and have a sense of mastery over their activities. They feel good if they can do things without being asked to and parents can feel less naggy too. :)
The beginning of a routine always require intervention. Once the routine is set in, the child should be able to execute the actions himself and feels good about it.
3. Routines prevents conflicts between your child and you
When Zenith was younger, he refused to sit in his stroller when he was going to the child care centre. He wanted to walk with us. The stroller became a trolley for bags. It was okay for a while until my wife got pregnant with Zach, and Zenith got too active. My work requires me to go to my work place in the wee hours in the morning and I could not be there to chase after Zenith. It was dangerous as we need to cross a few roads before arriving at the child care centre. So we came up with a routine for him. He will have to sit in his stroller right away at our door step after he wore his shoes. At first, he would cry and throw tantrums even after we explained to him about the roads being dangerous and all. However, as time passed, he got into the routine of sitting in his stroller after wearing his shoes and there was less stress on Kat and me.
Routines eliminate the chances of power struggles. Once it is there, it becomes natural for the kids to follow it and it becomes less probable for them to throw tantrums. (However, there will still be times where they will throw tantrums. I'll talk about it in a while.)
4. Routines let kids have something to look forward to everyday
Zenith's favorite routine everyday is his 15 minutes of Ipad time in the evening. He can choose any educational games or ebooks that I installed for him. While some may disapprove of using electronic devices with children, I think it is perfectly okay if you use it in the right manner. Complete abstinence is no good. It makes the Ipad even more attractive to them because they have no access to it.
The Ipad time is there for 2 reasons. One is to keep him on par with his friends. When they talk about Angry Birds Star Wars, Zenith can relate with them and won't feel left out. The other reason is to teach him to use Ipad for learning and development, not only to play games. So he reads and do math on his Ipad as well. Recently, I also introduced Chinese character writing to him on the Ipad.
No matter how well the routines are, children will almost always throw tantrums once in a while. If they throw tantrums, we need to find out the source of the tantrums. Sometimes, they are tired. Sometimes, they are hungry. Sometimes, they are not feeling well. Sometimes, they just need a hug from you.
Punishment should always be the last resort and not the first solution for violating routines.
Lastly, routines are not rules casted in stone. Sometimes, we can be flexible and show our children that we can make choices and decisions based on what is presented to us on that particular day. For example, if it is a birthday celebration, then it is okay to sleep later than usual. If the weather is good, a walk in the park can be inserted into the time table. We want to teach our kids how to react to the changes in life too. We would not want them to become too inflexible.
Have a great time implementing healthy routines in your child's life!
Until then,
little motivator
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