One Small Tip To Motivate Your Child

Today, I will be sharing a small tip to motivate your child. One critical step.

Define the meaning of success to your child
How do you view success for your child when he attempts his learning? Is it getting the right answer? Is it getting 100 marks? What is success to you? What is the success that we teach our children? If you cannot define success for yourself, how can you define it to your child?

There was once in life I believed success was getting the best grades for myself, to be the best among my friends, to have A*s in PSLE, to have A1s in 'O' level, to have As in 'A' levels, to score as many As in university, to earn the most dollars, etc....

I had an A* in PSLE, but I was not happy with this success. (I was really mediocre at that point.)
I had 4 A1s in 'O' levels, and I was still not happy. (Considering my secondary school, 4 A1s is actually quite spectacular.)
And the grades goes on. I did not feel successful.

As I grew older, the idea of success intrigued me more and more.

I realised that success is a journey. It is definitely not a destination. There is no surer way to demotivate a child then to tell him that he has arrived at the destination of success. If he has succeeded, where can he go from here? If he has reached the highest point in his life, where can he go from here?

I define success as a journey to my children. It is the process of how we improve ourselves continuously in such a way that the 'me' today is better than the 'me' yesterday.

Math is no longer getting to the right answer. It is about thinking how we solved the problem and what are the tools we used. It is about having fun with numbers. It is about accumulating more strategies in tackling Math problems. It is about becoming better.

English is no longer about grammar rules and learning new words. It is about how beautiful English is as a language and how it is being defined within its boundaries. It is about enjoying the stories together. It is about writing a story together. It is about HOW we get to the final product rather than the final product itself. It is about becoming better at the language.

Playing is no longer about winning. It is okay to lose. It is the fun that we derive from playing that is most precious. Losing and winning are just by-products of playing.

If we define success as a process, then your child will have no fear of failing. It is impossible to fail! Mistakes will only make your child better as he learns from it.

As parents, we gauge our own success in terms of how we understand our children's learning. We learn more about what our children do not know or do not understand. We equipped ourselves with more strategies to impart knowledge to our children. It is not about the child getting the correct answer. It is the process of how we are better today as a parent than yesterday. It is about how to become partners with your child in his learning.

Think about it in another way. If your child can get all the right answers for his worksheets, but dread to spend time with you anymore. Is this success?

Until then, be motivated!

little motivator